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| xanga is history.
i'm finally retiring from it.
you can find me on myspace @ myspace.com/laurajayney
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| Life has basically been taking it easy on me lately.
I still have a lot of things I want to do/change.
I am getting them done slowly.
But at least I'm moving forward and not backward.
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| I am looking over my registration for next semester, and everything
keeps saying "Junior Requirements" and Junior this and Junior
that. And it's freaking me out. I do not feel like a Junior
in college. Time never slows down, man. I am old.
Anyway, next semester is looking pretty damn busy, and I'm thinking
it's going to be the hardest year yet. Cause now I have to
actually start really thinking about what I want to do when I
graduate. Plus I have some pretty tough courses...Music History,
for example. If anyone knows me, they know that History is my
worst subject. So, we'll see. I also have Advanced Piano
and Accompanying. I really hope I don't suck with that. And
I also have modernism, which is like art history basically, so that's
going to suck, too. I will try to stay positive, but I know I'm
going to be sweating once August rolls around this summer.
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| My horoscope keeps telling me to travel. And to take "someone
special" with me. Like seriously, this is like the 5th time this
month, it's been telling me to take a vacation. Too bad I can't
because A) I'm in school and B) I don't have money for that
anyway.
Where is the warm weather? I'm so over this waking up in my bed freezing everyday.
Speaking of warm weather, I've decided that I want to find 2 part time
jobs for this summer. One at home and one in the city. The
apartment we find in the city is probably going to be ready to move
into by the end of May or the beginning of June, I doubt we will find a
place to move into in August, so I'd rather not waste the money and
live there part time, and live at home part time. Also, I think
this will be good for me, because everyone knows how restless I can
become if I'm in one place for too long. (I really feel like this
is why I need to be a traveler in the future). Anyway, I'm
looking for fun jobs, though, or like odd jobs. Like dog sitting
or dog walking or babysitting or data entry or filing or
something. I don't really want to be in a retail store, and I'd
rather not work in a restaurant. I really can't handle bitchy
people. I am determined to find something I will enjoy
doing. I've already been raping Craig's List everyday.
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| I woke up in a really crappy mood today. Not really sure why.
And then as I was going through my day so far, I realized that there
are some people who are hurting me and I'm not quite sure what I've
done or haven't done to them to make them feel as if they should try
and hurt me. But you know me, I probably won't say anything until
the friendship is almost in pieces and I'm angry about it. It's
funny how I can realize something is falling apart, but since I don't
know what to do about it, I just let it happen. I never know if I
should back off or confront, so I get wrapped up in my confusion and
before I know it, everything is screwed up real bad. It's not
that I don't care enough to do something about it, it's that I'm
already ashamed for messing things up in the first place so I cower in
the corner and hope it all goes away. And I always assume that
it's my fault, even if it isn't, I just always think it is. So then I
think that maybe that person is better off without me anyway, and then
if I'm thinking like that, then what's the point of trying to fix
anything?
Am I insane?
In other news, Erika and Emily can stay and that makes me happy.
So I guess something good did come out of today. And Cori said
that Rita's is giving out free water ice today cause it's the first day
of spring, so I guess that will be good, too. And Erika's bf
surprised her today and came home from Iraq and it was really cute and
made me tear up because I can't even imagine how happy she was feeling
when she first saw him. | | |
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